[ Though it does occur to her ( and has, several times since she woke up ) that the Yao Corporation is a bunch of psychotic bastards, what doesn't occur to her immediately is that Peter is acting the way he is because of her. She figures he must be angry because she's an absolute idiot or that she didn't tell him anything and, well, she's right to a certain degree. But it doesn't even cross her mind yet that he's also upset at the fact that she's been hurt unnecessarily. Because to her? It isn't.
Part of her, as fucked up as it is, believes that this is deserved. All the pain, suffering, mental, physical, and psychological torture that Haven puts her through is her penance for the lives that have ended by her hands. She can try to convince herself all day long that there was no choice - that it was her life or theirs - but it's difficult to truly believe that most days. So these almost two years now she's been waiting for absolution. Sometimes she's sure it will never come because this is Hell and where she's meant to rot for eternity.
But then the people she's met here, good people like Sakamoto or Wally or Wade or even Peter that make her think otherwise. They may be 'good' in unorthodox ways but they still are, at least to her, and they don't deserve any of this. So it begs the question: Why does she? There's a plethora of reasons she could come up with to justify why but, ultimately, the same things didn't apply to several others here and her logic simply collapsed upon itself.
So she considers this. If put in Peter's position, there wouldn't be words for how furious she'd be. There's the memory again of the garden and the vines choking Sam - had that been R's work, too? - and how devastated she'd been because he was her friend; she cared about him and they hurt him, took him away, and it was so painful but rage-inducing all at the same time because how could they.
And there's realization that she's felt what Peter's feeling now. How could they. How could they hurt her like this. But that means he cares about her, doesn't it? It's a silent startling wonder of a thing that he and Wally and Sakamoto and Wade and others care about her like she does them; that she's important to them and though she can't fathom why ( what was so great about her? there were so many better people out there ) they do and it's all that matters. That they do, that some people - no matter how much they shouldn't - find something worthwhile in her gives her hope that maybe she will as well. It's a hope that gets her through most days, through things like this. A hope that maybe, despite what she may tell herself, she can still fight back and not be the monster everyone said she would, that her life seems determined to make her out to be.
Part of her feels like she should apologize to him. It wouldn't do much good now though, would it? Too little, too late. She'll work on, instead, maybe being a bit more honest. Open. ... Well, aside from the bit about being a monster that eats human flesh. At least for right now. Thankfully, she's exclusively eating one person so it shouldn't ever really be an issue. Maybe she's lucky and he actually likes a little bite to his ladies.
Ahem. She digresses.
Her epiphany is interrupted by him grabbing her wrist and she registers the 'sorry' a little too late. She lets out a low, quiet groan of pain but compared to actually losing the damn hand? This is nothing. ]
You know, they actually played a movie here once. Toy Tale? Toy Saga? There was a three in there somewhere too, I think.
It wasn't half bad for an animated film. Not my thing but not half bad.
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Part of her, as fucked up as it is, believes that this is deserved. All the pain, suffering, mental, physical, and psychological torture that Haven puts her through is her penance for the lives that have ended by her hands. She can try to convince herself all day long that there was no choice - that it was her life or theirs - but it's difficult to truly believe that most days. So these almost two years now she's been waiting for absolution. Sometimes she's sure it will never come because this is Hell and where she's meant to rot for eternity.
But then the people she's met here, good people like Sakamoto or Wally or Wade or even Peter that make her think otherwise. They may be 'good' in unorthodox ways but they still are, at least to her, and they don't deserve any of this. So it begs the question: Why does she? There's a plethora of reasons she could come up with to justify why but, ultimately, the same things didn't apply to several others here and her logic simply collapsed upon itself.
So she considers this. If put in Peter's position, there wouldn't be words for how furious she'd be. There's the memory again of the garden and the vines choking Sam - had that been R's work, too? - and how devastated she'd been because he was her friend; she cared about him and they hurt him, took him away, and it was so painful but rage-inducing all at the same time because how could they.
And there's realization that she's felt what Peter's feeling now. How could they. How could they hurt her like this. But that means he cares about her, doesn't it? It's a silent startling wonder of a thing that he and Wally and Sakamoto and Wade and others care about her like she does them; that she's important to them and though she can't fathom why ( what was so great about her? there were so many better people out there ) they do and it's all that matters. That they do, that some people - no matter how much they shouldn't - find something worthwhile in her gives her hope that maybe she will as well. It's a hope that gets her through most days, through things like this. A hope that maybe, despite what she may tell herself, she can still fight back and not be the monster everyone said she would, that her life seems determined to make her out to be.
Part of her feels like she should apologize to him. It wouldn't do much good now though, would it? Too little, too late. She'll work on, instead, maybe being a bit more honest. Open. ... Well, aside from the bit about being a monster that eats human flesh. At least for right now. Thankfully, she's exclusively eating one person so it shouldn't ever really be an issue. Maybe she's lucky and he actually likes a little bite to his ladies.
Ahem. She digresses.
Her epiphany is interrupted by him grabbing her wrist and she registers the 'sorry' a little too late. She lets out a low, quiet groan of pain but compared to actually losing the damn hand? This is nothing. ]
You know, they actually played a movie here once. Toy Tale? Toy Saga? There was a three in there somewhere too, I think.
It wasn't half bad for an animated film. Not my thing but not half bad.