There's a moment of silence that follows his words as she contemplates them. Letting people in has always been bad news. Not for her but for them. Haven was different but... old habits die hard, as the saying goes. But when she sees her friends, people she cares about, worry for her ( even though she can't comprehend why, her chest feels tight and her heart weighs heavy with guilt.
That's the exact opposite of what she wants.
What Peter might think of her if he knew what she was, the things she'd done also scares her more than she'll likely ever admit. Because she likes him and she likes what they have going and although it might be selfish of her she doesn't want to lose it.
There was no way he could help but she can't tell him that without explaining everything and, well. The bottom line is she's just not sure she's ready to. It had taken her nearly a year to tell Sakamoto that she wasn't human, then even longer about her struggle after Kite willingly and he was probably one of her - maybe only - best friends in this place.
She scoots closer to him, nudging her shoulder against his. ]
Hey. I'm sorry for not letting you know. It's... a little late now, really, to try and get into it all since it's been going on for a while but. Trust me when I say there wasn't much you could do to stop things from happening the way they did. No one could. I'm kind of ridiculously stubborn like that. Once I get my mind made up on something, it's gonna' happen. [ Here is a weak attempt at a smile that fades as fast as it appears. ]
I can promise you this though. I'll be more honest from now on, alright? Nothing should ever get this bad again. I mean, I can never say never in this place but... I'll let you know. You don't have to worry about me getting all creepy and sharing every detail of my life, but. I won't shut you out anymore.
[ At least, she'll try her damn hardest not to. It's instinct to deflect, to avoid, and use half-truths to cover up what's really going on but if he asks... she won't, at least, outright lie anymore. That's the least she can do for putting him through all this. ]
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There's a moment of silence that follows his words as she contemplates them. Letting people in has always been bad news. Not for her but for them. Haven was different but... old habits die hard, as the saying goes. But when she sees her friends, people she cares about, worry for her ( even though she can't comprehend why, her chest feels tight and her heart weighs heavy with guilt.
That's the exact opposite of what she wants.
What Peter might think of her if he knew what she was, the things she'd done also scares her more than she'll likely ever admit. Because she likes him and she likes what they have going and although it might be selfish of her she doesn't want to lose it.
There was no way he could help but she can't tell him that without explaining everything and, well. The bottom line is she's just not sure she's ready to. It had taken her nearly a year to tell Sakamoto that she wasn't human, then even longer about her struggle after Kite willingly and he was probably one of her - maybe only - best friends in this place.
She scoots closer to him, nudging her shoulder against his. ]
Hey. I'm sorry for not letting you know. It's... a little late now, really, to try and get into it all since it's been going on for a while but. Trust me when I say there wasn't much you could do to stop things from happening the way they did. No one could. I'm kind of ridiculously stubborn like that. Once I get my mind made up on something, it's gonna' happen. [ Here is a weak attempt at a smile that fades as fast as it appears. ]
I can promise you this though. I'll be more honest from now on, alright? Nothing should ever get this bad again. I mean, I can never say never in this place but... I'll let you know. You don't have to worry about me getting all creepy and sharing every detail of my life, but. I won't shut you out anymore.
[ At least, she'll try her damn hardest not to. It's instinct to deflect, to avoid, and use half-truths to cover up what's really going on but if he asks... she won't, at least, outright lie anymore. That's the least she can do for putting him through all this. ]