... Gamora. You were trying to keep me alive. [ Something he still doesn’t agree with. Something he still thinks was the wrong move.
But there’s no turning back time to fix that decision, just like there’s no way to go back and stop himself from letting Ego turn him so quickly, or to stop himself from ever stepping foot on that planet. They’re both living with their mistakes, and they’ll both have to try to make up for them for the rest of their lives. ]
You played the hand you were dealt. You knew what would work, and you used it.
Like I said: I get it. I understand. I don’t hate you for any of it. And if I were in your shoes... I dunno that I’d do anything differently.
[ And he had two weeks of solitude to wrap his head around it. Plenty of time to work out his anger and his shame and his humiliation, until he finally looped around to a dull, resigned understanding. ]
I thought...
[ Cards on the table, Quill, he thinks. It’s only fair. Because he knows how difficult it is for Gamora to speak what she feels, and these months have been a fucking mess, built on the backs of lies after lies. Peter had been honest, because he practically had to be, but since then, he’s shut himself off. It was easier, hiding himself away, keeping to himself, but—
He can tell this is hurting Gamora, his silence, and that’s one less thing he needs on his conscience. ]
I thought— you hated me. For— all of it. I figured you just thought I was some brand new asshole in a long chain of assholes in your life, forcing you into shit you didn’t want to be involved in. Making you do shit you had to go along with it, because you didn’t want to die.
[ Like Ronan. Like Thanos.
Peter was already a monster for slaughtering all those people, destroying all those planets. But what he did to Gamora was just the fucking cherry on top of a monstrous sundae. ]
I never wanted to be that guy, but that’s how it turned out, right?
[ He huffs out another breath, letting his hand fall away from his face. ]
I figured you didn’t want to see me, much less talk to me. I mean, why the hell would you, after— [ He gestures vaguely. ] You know.
[ But he still felt – still feels – as he had, back on Ego’s planet. Those weeks pinned down in his quarters had been a rough patch, admittedly, but as time dragged on, when he had any energy left to think, he realized nothing had really changed.
“You feel... love,” Mantis had said, back before the shitstorm started.
Yeah, Peter thinks now, staring down at the deck. Yeah, I really fucking do.
But what’s the point, when every single bridge has been burned? ]
no subject
... Gamora. You were trying to keep me alive. [ Something he still doesn’t agree with. Something he still thinks was the wrong move.
But there’s no turning back time to fix that decision, just like there’s no way to go back and stop himself from letting Ego turn him so quickly, or to stop himself from ever stepping foot on that planet. They’re both living with their mistakes, and they’ll both have to try to make up for them for the rest of their lives. ]
You played the hand you were dealt. You knew what would work, and you used it.
Like I said: I get it. I understand. I don’t hate you for any of it. And if I were in your shoes... I dunno that I’d do anything differently.
[ And he had two weeks of solitude to wrap his head around it. Plenty of time to work out his anger and his shame and his humiliation, until he finally looped around to a dull, resigned understanding. ]
I thought...
[ Cards on the table, Quill, he thinks. It’s only fair. Because he knows how difficult it is for Gamora to speak what she feels, and these months have been a fucking mess, built on the backs of lies after lies. Peter had been honest, because he practically had to be, but since then, he’s shut himself off. It was easier, hiding himself away, keeping to himself, but—
He can tell this is hurting Gamora, his silence, and that’s one less thing he needs on his conscience. ]
I thought— you hated me. For— all of it. I figured you just thought I was some brand new asshole in a long chain of assholes in your life, forcing you into shit you didn’t want to be involved in. Making you do shit you had to go along with it, because you didn’t want to die.
[ Like Ronan. Like Thanos.
Peter was already a monster for slaughtering all those people, destroying all those planets. But what he did to Gamora was just the fucking cherry on top of a monstrous sundae. ]
I never wanted to be that guy, but that’s how it turned out, right?
[ He huffs out another breath, letting his hand fall away from his face. ]
I figured you didn’t want to see me, much less talk to me. I mean, why the hell would you, after— [ He gestures vaguely. ] You know.
[ But he still felt – still feels – as he had, back on Ego’s planet. Those weeks pinned down in his quarters had been a rough patch, admittedly, but as time dragged on, when he had any energy left to think, he realized nothing had really changed.
“You feel... love,” Mantis had said, back before the shitstorm started.
Yeah, Peter thinks now, staring down at the deck. Yeah, I really fucking do.
But what’s the point, when every single bridge has been burned? ]