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[ You know, giant walls of text are never good to look at. So the first thing Peter texts back is: ]

oh jesus

[ After that, he goes back to skim the mess that is this message, and—

First of all, no comment on the “dad” front. Peter Quill and fathers don’t mix well.

And second of all— ]

oh my god

you’re not gonna for real call it that are you

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