[What the flying heck is this, a video file attached to a mysterious number? Oh, the fucking horror, it's — a little kid from the amusement park water war. Only this time it's not so much a water war as it is just the park, and the kid is holding up a sign that says 'STAR-LORD: A PLAY'.
"Our hero lands on a new and mysterious planet," says the kid, kinda robot-like, because it's a kid in a play. "to rescue the fair princess from the clutches of the evil alien warriors." He holds up a very quickly drawn picture of a ship and has it float across the screen for a moment before he runs off. When the image refocuses, Spider-Man swoops in, wearing headphones and Quill's signature jacket. He holds up a watergun like it's the toughest sci-fi gun ever.]
Don't worry, princess, I'll save you and get you back to your father, King Xindar!
[Lanie stands atop the playground equipment (it looks great, totally like a cell with bars) with one of those weird cone-like princess hats on, and all around her are the little heathens that almost defeated them in their water battles. They war-hoot and Lanie waves at Spider-Man like they're just catching eyes across a mall, or something. She's not an actress, but she's doing her best here.]
You're no match for the lord of the stars — take this!
[PEW PEW PEW. He makes the noises with his mouths, so the kids know what's up, and a bunch of them dramatically fall on the ground, saying things like, "Oh no, I've been beat up!" and "Not the Star Lord" and "uuuguUUGGHGH". It's a good two minute battle, just for you. Then Spider-Man leaps up on the steps, and Lanie makes fists, pumping them in the air. Also not very graceful or princess like.
The one kid who intro'd them runs in. "The princess has been saved!"
Lanie knights Spider-Man-Lord with her hand.
The kid continues, squinting at a cue card he's got in his hands. "He has been made honorary knight of King Xindar's army, and they go in his ship back to her planet, so she can finally be united with her father. The galaxy is at peace!" The drawing of the space ship is held close to the feed until it fills it, little ship noises (that are totally not just them making ship noises with their mouths) sounding off until the screen goes black.]
SOMETIME AFTER QUILL IS OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND RESTING IDK
[What the flying heck is this, a video file attached to a mysterious number? Oh, the fucking horror, it's — a little kid from the amusement park water war. Only this time it's not so much a water war as it is just the park, and the kid is holding up a sign that says 'STAR-LORD: A PLAY'.
"Our hero lands on a new and mysterious planet," says the kid, kinda robot-like, because it's a kid in a play. "to rescue the fair princess from the clutches of the evil alien warriors." He holds up a very quickly drawn picture of a ship and has it float across the screen for a moment before he runs off. When the image refocuses, Spider-Man swoops in, wearing headphones and Quill's signature jacket. He holds up a watergun like it's the toughest sci-fi gun ever.]
Don't worry, princess, I'll save you and get you back to your father, King Xindar!
[Lanie stands atop the playground equipment (it looks great, totally like a cell with bars) with one of those weird cone-like princess hats on, and all around her are the little heathens that almost defeated them in their water battles. They war-hoot and Lanie waves at Spider-Man like they're just catching eyes across a mall, or something. She's not an actress, but she's doing her best here.]
You're no match for the lord of the stars — take this!
[PEW PEW PEW. He makes the noises with his mouths, so the kids know what's up, and a bunch of them dramatically fall on the ground, saying things like, "Oh no, I've been beat up!" and "Not the Star Lord" and "uuuguUUGGHGH". It's a good two minute battle, just for you. Then Spider-Man leaps up on the steps, and Lanie makes fists, pumping them in the air. Also not very graceful or princess like.
The one kid who intro'd them runs in. "The princess has been saved!"
Lanie knights Spider-Man-Lord with her hand.
The kid continues, squinting at a cue card he's got in his hands. "He has been made honorary knight of King Xindar's army, and they go in his ship back to her planet, so she can finally be united with her father. The galaxy is at peace!" The drawing of the space ship is held close to the feed until it fills it, little ship noises (that are totally not just them making ship noises with their mouths) sounding off until the screen goes black.]