There'll definitely be some long-term problems. For a while though things shouldn't be any different. I'll be weaker but that's not necessarily a bad thing.
Basically. I'll lose strength and stamina kind of like you guys would only slower. Probably be a lot more tired but that's also not necessarily a bad thing with how much I suck at sleeping.
[ She's trying to keep it light, trying to add any sort of levity to this conversation. It isn't a perfect plan and she's painfully aware of that. But it is one where she doesn't hurt anyone anymore and, despite the consequences to her own wellbeing, that's all she cares about. Rose refuses to be the monster that her life and Haven seem set out to turn her into.
Part of her knows that if she can't maintain control - lose her temper like she did with Jo after two months of starvation - that she won't give herself any more chances though. This is it. If she can't stay strong enough to stop herself or if Yao bends her will one more time, no hunters will have to come after her for hurting more innocent people.
She'll spare them the job and take care of her herself. ]
Yeah. I eat cute, cuddly things, like lambs and calves. Ducks. Rabbits. Out on Xandar they had this meat stew made of these little dudes who looked like tribbles.
[ he falls silent for a quick second, brows knitting together in a grim line before he continues. ]
I'm not saying it's okay. That you eat humans, I mean. That actually kind of sucks. But if it's something you need? And you have someone who can help you? Then you shouldn't just quit.
You ever seen someone quit a drug cold turkey? I have. It's ugly. Lots of times they just go back to it, binge to make up for lost time.
Ween yourself off, at least. Quitting cold turkey will just make it worse.
[ Woah, what. They have things that look like tribbles? Man, she needs to ask him about space more often... Wait. No. Focus, Rose. ]
Sucks is an understatement, dude. [ It's literally tearing away at her sanity. She supposes it was only a matter of time in place like Haven. ] And I don't need it. [ That much she's sure of. She lived almost all her life without it, after all. ]
I just - It feels like all or nothing with this. I've tried eating 'regular' food again, but. [ Obviously that hasn't worked out so well. ]
That's exactly what I'm going to do. It doesn't matter if it sounds dumb or is dumb, it's my only real choice.
[ Stubborn to a fault. ]
There's no guarantee Wade will be here forever. [ Rose long since realized she was too reliant on him. There's also no guarantee she won't get her mind warped by this place and hurt someone else she cares about again. That, however, is omitted for it's a very real, frightening possibility that she doesn't want to dwell on. ]
I have to stop myself before I let it get any worse than it already has. And if that means starving, I'd much rather starve than continue always being terrified of these 'what ifs' that come with being a horribly fucked up monster.
[ Her anger flares up red hot as its wont to do. It isn't the same; how can he still be trying to make it equal? The woman lets out a frustrated huff and bites her tongue before lashing out. Which is much more difficult than she makes it seem. ]
That won't solve anything. Then we'll both be hungry and miserable. Only you can't go centuries without eating. [ Ugh. What is it with her friends and challenging her own headstrong ways? ]
There's. One other option. I hadn't mentioned it because, well, I'm about ninety-nine point nine percent sure it isn't going to work out. [ Not because of Newt's lack of knowledge - dude was a bonified genius - but the lack of materials in Haven to even begin the process. ] Newt's trying to find a way to clone me a food source.
[ Which she, honestly, feels a little silly saying since... Cloning. Really. ]
I mean, if a corporation can zap a shitton of people from alternate realities and different dimensions or whatever, I don't see how cloning is too far out there.
[ He's actually right. She would have. It wouldn't have been the first time either.
That thought causes her stomach to churn in disgust. ]
Me more than you though, I think. [ Rose isn't about to let him to take more of the blame than he has to. He shouldn't be taking any, if she's honest, but...
Part of her wants to ask if he's afraid of her. The other part of her is terrified to know. A final part already thinks she already knows the answer. So she refrains. ]
So, we're. Still friends? [ If they're not, she understands. ]
[ The silence is for a different matter entirely, this time.
Then, ]
I-- I mean. Um. [ Wow, he used to be good at this. What happened, Quill? ] I mean, if you want, but-- That is, not that I want to-- which isn't to say I don't. Want to, I mean, but if you don't, that's cool. But--
[ He's just. Going to keep babbling like this until the cows come home. ]
[ Is this bizarro land? Is she actually more confident than Peter right now? Rose lets him babble just a little longer before intervening. ]
Hey, dude. Don't worry about it. I... get it if you wouldn't want to. [ She did nearly take a chunk out of his shoulder, after all. Not to mention that she's... her. And he probably regrets kissing her back in the first place. ] Like I said, it was awesome, and I'd totally like another chance but I... don't want things to be awkward either so. Whatever.
[ He very nearly says, "It doesn't have to be awkward."
He very nearly suggests, "We can do this, no strings attached."
He very nearly asks, "Do you wanna just fuck?"
But all of them are stupid thoughts, dangerous thoughts, because he likes Rosie, but he knows now that she's-- sort of dangerous. That he has to tread even more carefully than he had been. And sex can complicate friendships so quickly, apparently (though he doesn't know, having had few friends and fewer romantic entanglements that lasted longer than a night).
So he just hums, the sound noncommittal. ]
Well, like I said, tip for next time, whoever you're with: less teeth, okay?
[ It probably says a lot that she would have answered 'Sure.' After the event, after all this - The one thing she wants is to just have something to take her mind off all of it. Is it the most healthy coping mechanism? Probably not. Is she going to do it anyway? Probably.
'Whoever you're with.' That gets the point across well enough. She's careful to hide any hurt in her voice ( strange that there's any at all since she had actually anticipated this; why would he want her? ) when she speaks.
Her tone sounds more amused than anything else, a quiet huff of a laugh before she continues. ]
Right. Sure. Not everyone likes ladies with a little bit of bite to them, I guess. [ Self-depreciation always works. ]
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There'll definitely be some long-term problems. For a while though things shouldn't be any different. I'll be weaker but that's not necessarily a bad thing.
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Like, "I'm totally starving myself" weaker, or--?
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[ She's trying to keep it light, trying to add any sort of levity to this conversation. It isn't a perfect plan and she's painfully aware of that. But it is one where she doesn't hurt anyone anymore and, despite the consequences to her own wellbeing, that's all she cares about. Rose refuses to be the monster that her life and Haven seem set out to turn her into.
Part of her knows that if she can't maintain control - lose her temper like she did with Jo after two months of starvation - that she won't give herself any more chances though. This is it. If she can't stay strong enough to stop herself or if Yao bends her will one more time, no hunters will have to come after her for hurting more innocent people.
She'll spare them the job and take care of her herself. ]
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If I told you right now, "Hey, I'm gonna starve myself," how would that sound to you?
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You don't eat people.
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[ he falls silent for a quick second, brows knitting together in a grim line before he continues. ]
I'm not saying it's okay. That you eat humans, I mean. That actually kind of sucks. But if it's something you need? And you have someone who can help you? Then you shouldn't just quit.
You ever seen someone quit a drug cold turkey? I have. It's ugly. Lots of times they just go back to it, binge to make up for lost time.
Ween yourself off, at least. Quitting cold turkey will just make it worse.
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Sucks is an understatement, dude. [ It's literally tearing away at her sanity. She supposes it was only a matter of time in place like Haven. ] And I don't need it. [ That much she's sure of. She lived almost all her life without it, after all. ]
I just - It feels like all or nothing with this. I've tried eating 'regular' food again, but. [ Obviously that hasn't worked out so well. ]
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Sorry, but that sounds really friggin' dumb, dude.
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[ Stubborn to a fault. ]
There's no guarantee Wade will be here forever. [ Rose long since realized she was too reliant on him. There's also no guarantee she won't get her mind warped by this place and hurt someone else she cares about again. That, however, is omitted for it's a very real, frightening possibility that she doesn't want to dwell on. ]
I have to stop myself before I let it get any worse than it already has. And if that means starving, I'd much rather starve than continue always being terrified of these 'what ifs' that come with being a horribly fucked up monster.
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Well. If you're not eatin', then I won't, either.
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[ Her anger flares up red hot as its wont to do. It isn't the same; how can he still be trying to make it equal? The woman lets out a frustrated huff and bites her tongue before lashing out. Which is much more difficult than she makes it seem. ]
That won't solve anything. Then we'll both be hungry and miserable. Only you can't go centuries without eating. [ Ugh. What is it with her friends and challenging her own headstrong ways? ]
There's. One other option. I hadn't mentioned it because, well, I'm about ninety-nine point nine percent sure it isn't going to work out. [ Not because of Newt's lack of knowledge - dude was a bonified genius - but the lack of materials in Haven to even begin the process. ] Newt's trying to find a way to clone me a food source.
[ Which she, honestly, feels a little silly saying since... Cloning. Really. ]
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How much work has he got done?
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I mean, if a corporation can zap a shitton of people from alternate realities and different dimensions or whatever, I don't see how cloning is too far out there.
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[ A sigh sounds, followed by a confused- ]
I don't understand. Why are you - You should hate me. Be angry, at least. I tried to kill you.
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[ He forces some levity into his voice. ] 'Sides. You bit me on the shoulder. If you were really trying to kill me, you'd've gone for the throat.
We got carried away. The both of us.
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That thought causes her stomach to churn in disgust. ]
Me more than you though, I think. [ Rose isn't about to let him to take more of the blame than he has to. He shouldn't be taking any, if she's honest, but...
Part of her wants to ask if he's afraid of her. The other part of her is terrified to know. A final part already thinks she already knows the answer. So she refrains. ]
So, we're. Still friends? [ If they're not, she understands. ]
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Yeah. We're alright.
Just-- you know. Maybe less teeth next time.
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- Are you saying there might be a next time?
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Then, ]
I-- I mean. Um. [ Wow, he used to be good at this. What happened, Quill? ] I mean, if you want, but-- That is, not that I want to-- which isn't to say I don't. Want to, I mean, but if you don't, that's cool. But--
[ He's just. Going to keep babbling like this until the cows come home. ]
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Hey, dude. Don't worry about it. I... get it if you wouldn't want to. [ She did nearly take a chunk out of his shoulder, after all. Not to mention that she's... her. And he probably regrets kissing her back in the first place. ] Like I said, it was awesome, and I'd totally like another chance but I... don't want things to be awkward either so. Whatever.
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He very nearly suggests, "We can do this, no strings attached."
He very nearly asks, "Do you wanna just fuck?"
But all of them are stupid thoughts, dangerous thoughts, because he likes Rosie, but he knows now that she's-- sort of dangerous. That he has to tread even more carefully than he had been. And sex can complicate friendships so quickly, apparently (though he doesn't know, having had few friends and fewer romantic entanglements that lasted longer than a night).
So he just hums, the sound noncommittal. ]
Well, like I said, tip for next time, whoever you're with: less teeth, okay?
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'Whoever you're with.' That gets the point across well enough. She's careful to hide any hurt in her voice ( strange that there's any at all since she had actually anticipated this; why would he want her? ) when she speaks.
Her tone sounds more amused than anything else, a quiet huff of a laugh before she continues. ]
Right. Sure. Not everyone likes ladies with a little bit of bite to them, I guess. [ Self-depreciation always works. ]
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Hey, not saying that. I mean, usually I like it rough.
Just-- you know. Within reason.
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But yeah, I'll. I'll tone it down.
[ ... Considering she might actually be in the position to be mindful of it. ]
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