I know, but right now you're not in really any condition to rush off. [ He nearly adds, again, but he cuts himself off. Pulling his chair closer to the head of the bed, he plops himself down. ]
If you're worried, I had Gamora talk to Nova Prime. We'll see to it they destroy any records of you bein' here. Can't have that trail floating around, right? Not with Hiromitsu prob'ly lookin' for you.
[ He's right - even Rose can recognize that - but she doesn't have to like that he is. Her injuries may stop her from leaving but they don't stop how horribly uncomfortable this entire place makes her. There's a phantom ache in her back as she recalls fragmented bits of her (likely) drug-induced dream sequence. ]
Nova Prime herself issuing the order to erase my records? [ Well. She can't argue with that, can she? ] That's some pretty impressive influence, Star-Lord.
[ There's an awkward pause on her end before a quiet- ]
Thanks.
[ Guilt starts to settle in gradually. Rose realizes that she'd not only ran off without a word originally but then he'd had to find her half-dead in alleyway. Probably not the best way to show her gratitude to the person who essentially gave her her freedom. ]
[ He shrugs a shoulder. ] They kinda owe me, what with the saving their lazy asses a while back. [ A handful of purged criminal records is only a drop in the bucket, after all. Reluctant as they may be to do so, the Nova Corps friggin' owes them.
At her gratitude, Peter hesitates, eyes flicking down to his lap, then, with another delicate shrug, ]
[ There's a lot of weight behind those words for Rose; she's never been considered part of a crew. In the ring, it was kill or be killed. Only Ren had ever looked out for her and once he was dead -
Well. She'd had to start looking out for her. And that was just really the way things went for a long, long time. There was no one but herself and she'd resigned herself to the fact that would never change. Being a lone wolf - literally and metaphorically - was just how it was supposed to be. How it would always be. That was what she'd believed.
Until she met Peter, anyway. He'd reminded her what it means to rely on people, to allow them to help. He'd reminded her that sometimes she can't take the world upon her shoulders try as she might to. When he didn't have to, when he shouldn't have he'd saved her from Hiromitsu. Let himself consider her to be part of his crew despite the brief time she'd been around.
Yet she'd only managed to fuck that up. As she always does. As she always will.
When it really comes down to it, Rose isn't sure she knows how to be part of a crew. She isn't sure she knows how to truly let people in anymore. It's why she ran, why she runs. For as much as she wants to try and believe maybe she could be part of his crew - It's just easier to be alone than to try and figure out how she fits with others. So that's why what she says next rings with a certain sincerity. ]
I'm not... really crew member material. I'm - You don't want someone like me in your crew, trust me.
[ Peter just-- sighs. Her reaction, surprisingly, isn't unlike how the others had felt at some point -- even him. All of them had fucked up a job more than once, made a dumb move that nearly jeopardized everything, and when Peter went to talk to them -- or when Gamora had gone to speak with him, in his own case -- they had all told him the same thing.
"I'm sorry, Quill. I don't think I can do this. I don't think I can work with a team."
Every time, he would reach over -- as he does now, pressing a hand gently over Rose's forearm -- and say, as he says now, ]
Stop. Shut up.
[ Peter looks her straight in the eye as he speaks, voice and gaze steady. ]
I don't care what fucked up past you had. I don't care what ghosts are chasin' after you. I don't care that you think you're too dangerous or too untrustworthy, or that you've been flyin' solo too long to know what it's like to have people you can depend on.
If we didn't want you with us, you wouldn't be. Gamora is the most deadly assassin in the galaxy. Drax can pull out a guy's thorax through his mouth. Groot could spear a dude with his arm, and Rocket could figure out six different ways to turn a calculator into a bomb.
So what I care about is this: you're part of my crew, whether you wanna be or not. And that means you'll get our help even if you push us away. I mean, imagine if our roles were switched. Imagine you found me in that alley, or Gamora, or Drax, or anyone. Would you or would you not have helped us, like we helped you?
[ The 'shut up' definitely gets her attention; she doesn't break his gaze as he speaks.
It's something to consider, isn't it? When looking at what everyone else's stories were, hers didn't seem all that out of place. It actually almost appeared to fit right in. ... Though Rose isn't necessarily sure if that's actually a good thing. Hm.
Then she thinks over the next point he makes. The answer comes easier than expected: Of course she would have. She would because, well. Rose cares about them. It just hadn't occurred to her - and is still a difficult concept to wrap her head around - that they'd potentially felt the same way. Why would they? Why would anyone?
While difficult to believe, she wants to because the implications of that - people similar to her, people who understand, people who get it - makes her heart swell in wonderful ways she doesn't quite understand just yet. ]
I would. But that doesn't mean... I just. [ Mm. She would, and yet- ] I'm still not - entirely sure how to be part of a crew, but... Looks like I don't really have much of a choice in figuring it out.
[ ... ]
Besides, I really want to see some of this cool bomb calculator, spearing, assassinating, and thorax-ripping action now so I guess I'll just have to stick around.
[ Her answer makes him laugh a little -- mostly out of relief, but also because, yeah, his team is crazy and fucked up in some really wonderful, yet horrifying, ways. His team, which includes Rose. ]
It takes time to adapt, I can tell you that much. All of us were doin' the lone wolf thing for a while, took us a while to figure out the teamwork thing.
My advice? Stick with it. You'll never learn if you don't try, you know?
All I really can do is try. Sorry if I suck at it though. I think I'm done with 'entertaining' [ Can he sense the air quotes she doesn't actually have the energy to make? She wasn't lying when she said her 'job' for Hiromitsu had been entertainment; it just wasn't the type most people immediately thought of. ] for a while, at least.
And if I'm gonna' try to stick around this time, I wanna' be useful. I was kind of working in information gathering before, uh. This happened. So once I'm back up to snuff I can get to doing that again if it'll help you all out.
[ He nods. ] No, yeah, the information gathering would definitely help. But we'll figure it out once you're healed up, okay? Don't worry 'bout it till then.
[ He falls silent for a second, pulling his hand back to cross his arms on the edge of her bed. His eyes flick to one side of the room -- an empty wall, save for a large board the nurses were probably meant to use to mark their visits. Licking his lips, he mumbles quietly, ]
[ Knowing herself, it won't be. Staying idle isn't one of her fortes; no matter how badly beaten down in the ring she might have been, she'd always bounce back as soon as possible. This'll likely be no different.
When was the last time someone was glad she was alright? Ren, she recalls, was probably the only one that ever genuinely seemed to care about her well-being. Even more than she did, sometimes. So this feeling of being cared about, being worried over is almost absolutely alien.
That doesn't mean she doesn't like it though. It's definitely strange, but nice all in the same breath. It brings a small yet earnest smile to her face. ]
[ He manages a small smile at that -- and tries very hard not to have those dark thoughts like, What if I hadn't? or What if I had been too late? And he tries not to think about how the site of Rose in this hospital bed reminds him so vividly of Mom, surrounded by machinery and dim lights and unfamiliar sheets.
Peter's eyes flick down to the bedspread (a plain, solid thing that grounds him a little) before returning to her. If he had seemed pensive just a moment before, all evidence of it is wiped from his expression. ]
[ Even though her train of thought is along the same lines as his, she does her best not to show outwardly how the dark corners of her mind supply the horrors of 'what if.' It won't do her any good to speculate. ]
The only thing I need is to get out of here as soon as possible. [ Sorry, Peter, she's just a tad bit stubborn. ] ... Though I guess I'm a little hungry, too. [ She refrains fro, almost letting a truthful 'joke' slip out out that she hasn't been able to afford to eat regularly. Even if she had, however, she doubts she would have kept up a steady meal schedule. She'd never been particularly good at caring for herself for a myriad of reasons.
But this isn't the time to get into that. Hopefully they never have to. ]
[ He reaches over, giving her arm a gentle squeeze -- as much to express, I know, we'll leave when we can, as it is to provide some comfort. ]
I'll go scrounge somethin' up. Probably won't be much better than toast and fruit, though, if that's alright.
[ He stands, stretching, and there's a couple of soft pops of his joints. Clearly he's been sitting here for a while, and he shoots her a sheepish grin before he heads out. ]
Hang tight, okay? I'll be back before you can even miss me.
[ The touch gets a small smile in return. She trusts him (truly does) to get her out of here as soon as possible. Hopefully she can keep herself together until then.
Disassociating hospital environments with horrible torture is a little easier said than done, unfortunately. ]
[ A quick thumbs up is the only answer he gives before exiting the room entirely. And true to his word, he's back after maybe ten minutes or so holding a tray laden with toasted bread, various fruits, and a couple glasses of juice. ]
I couldn't remember which of these you liked. [ He nods down at the different types of fruits on the tray. ] So I figured the best bet would be to grab whichever.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
I know, but right now you're not in really any condition to rush off. [ He nearly adds, again, but he cuts himself off. Pulling his chair closer to the head of the bed, he plops himself down. ]
If you're worried, I had Gamora talk to Nova Prime. We'll see to it they destroy any records of you bein' here. Can't have that trail floating around, right? Not with Hiromitsu prob'ly lookin' for you.
no subject
Nova Prime herself issuing the order to erase my records? [ Well. She can't argue with that, can she? ] That's some pretty impressive influence, Star-Lord.
[ There's an awkward pause on her end before a quiet- ]
Thanks.
[ Guilt starts to settle in gradually. Rose realizes that she'd not only ran off without a word originally but then he'd had to find her half-dead in alleyway. Probably not the best way to show her gratitude to the person who essentially gave her her freedom. ]
no subject
At her gratitude, Peter hesitates, eyes flicking down to his lap, then, with another delicate shrug, ]
Don't worry about it. You're part of the crew.
no subject
Well. She'd had to start looking out for her. And that was just really the way things went for a long, long time. There was no one but herself and she'd resigned herself to the fact that would never change. Being a lone wolf - literally and metaphorically - was just how it was supposed to be. How it would always be. That was what she'd believed.
Until she met Peter, anyway. He'd reminded her what it means to rely on people, to allow them to help. He'd reminded her that sometimes she can't take the world upon her shoulders try as she might to. When he didn't have to, when he shouldn't have he'd saved her from Hiromitsu. Let himself consider her to be part of his crew despite the brief time she'd been around.
Yet she'd only managed to fuck that up. As she always does. As she always will.
When it really comes down to it, Rose isn't sure she knows how to be part of a crew. She isn't sure she knows how to truly let people in anymore. It's why she ran, why she runs. For as much as she wants to try and believe maybe she could be part of his crew - It's just easier to be alone than to try and figure out how she fits with others. So that's why what she says next rings with a certain sincerity. ]
I'm not... really crew member material. I'm - You don't want someone like me in your crew, trust me.
[ It'll only keep hurting them both. ]
no subject
"I'm sorry, Quill. I don't think I can do this. I don't think I can work with a team."
Every time, he would reach over -- as he does now, pressing a hand gently over Rose's forearm -- and say, as he says now, ]
Stop. Shut up.
[ Peter looks her straight in the eye as he speaks, voice and gaze steady. ]
I don't care what fucked up past you had. I don't care what ghosts are chasin' after you. I don't care that you think you're too dangerous or too untrustworthy, or that you've been flyin' solo too long to know what it's like to have people you can depend on.
If we didn't want you with us, you wouldn't be. Gamora is the most deadly assassin in the galaxy. Drax can pull out a guy's thorax through his mouth. Groot could spear a dude with his arm, and Rocket could figure out six different ways to turn a calculator into a bomb.
So what I care about is this: you're part of my crew, whether you wanna be or not. And that means you'll get our help even if you push us away. I mean, imagine if our roles were switched. Imagine you found me in that alley, or Gamora, or Drax, or anyone. Would you or would you not have helped us, like we helped you?
no subject
It's something to consider, isn't it? When looking at what everyone else's stories were, hers didn't seem all that out of place. It actually almost appeared to fit right in. ... Though Rose isn't necessarily sure if that's actually a good thing. Hm.
Then she thinks over the next point he makes. The answer comes easier than expected: Of course she would have. She would because, well. Rose cares about them. It just hadn't occurred to her - and is still a difficult concept to wrap her head around - that they'd potentially felt the same way. Why would they? Why would anyone?
While difficult to believe, she wants to because the implications of that - people similar to her, people who understand, people who get it - makes her heart swell in wonderful ways she doesn't quite understand just yet. ]
I would. But that doesn't mean... I just. [ Mm. She would, and yet- ] I'm still not - entirely sure how to be part of a crew, but... Looks like I don't really have much of a choice in figuring it out.
[ ... ]
Besides, I really want to see some of this cool bomb calculator, spearing, assassinating, and thorax-ripping action now so I guess I'll just have to stick around.
no subject
It takes time to adapt, I can tell you that much. All of us were doin' the lone wolf thing for a while, took us a while to figure out the teamwork thing.
My advice? Stick with it. You'll never learn if you don't try, you know?
no subject
[ That's just a bit of an understatement. ]
All I really can do is try. Sorry if I suck at it though. I think I'm done with 'entertaining' [ Can he sense the air quotes she doesn't actually have the energy to make? She wasn't lying when she said her 'job' for Hiromitsu had been entertainment; it just wasn't the type most people immediately thought of. ] for a while, at least.
And if I'm gonna' try to stick around this time, I wanna' be useful. I was kind of working in information gathering before, uh. This happened. So once I'm back up to snuff I can get to doing that again if it'll help you all out.
no subject
[ He falls silent for a second, pulling his hand back to cross his arms on the edge of her bed. His eyes flick to one side of the room -- an empty wall, save for a large board the nurses were probably meant to use to mark their visits. Licking his lips, he mumbles quietly, ]
I'm glad you're alright.
no subject
[ Knowing herself, it won't be. Staying idle isn't one of her fortes; no matter how badly beaten down in the ring she might have been, she'd always bounce back as soon as possible. This'll likely be no different.
When was the last time someone was glad she was alright? Ren, she recalls, was probably the only one that ever genuinely seemed to care about her well-being. Even more than she did, sometimes. So this feeling of being cared about, being worried over is almost absolutely alien.
That doesn't mean she doesn't like it though. It's definitely strange, but nice all in the same breath. It brings a small yet earnest smile to her face. ]
I'm glad you found me.
no subject
Peter's eyes flick down to the bedspread (a plain, solid thing that grounds him a little) before returning to her. If he had seemed pensive just a moment before, all evidence of it is wiped from his expression. ]
You need me to get you anything? Water? Food?
no subject
The only thing I need is to get out of here as soon as possible. [ Sorry, Peter, she's just a tad bit stubborn. ] ... Though I guess I'm a little hungry, too. [ She refrains fro, almost letting a truthful 'joke' slip out out that she hasn't been able to afford to eat regularly. Even if she had, however, she doubts she would have kept up a steady meal schedule. She'd never been particularly good at caring for herself for a myriad of reasons.
But this isn't the time to get into that. Hopefully they never have to. ]
no subject
I'll go scrounge somethin' up. Probably won't be much better than toast and fruit, though, if that's alright.
[ He stands, stretching, and there's a couple of soft pops of his joints. Clearly he's been sitting here for a while, and he shoots her a sheepish grin before he heads out. ]
Hang tight, okay? I'll be back before you can even miss me.
no subject
[ The touch gets a small smile in return. She trusts him (truly does) to get her out of here as soon as possible. Hopefully she can keep herself together until then.
Disassociating hospital environments with horrible torture is a little easier said than done, unfortunately. ]
Okay. I'll hold you to that.
no subject
I couldn't remember which of these you liked. [ He nods down at the different types of fruits on the tray. ] So I figured the best bet would be to grab whichever.