open post, vol. 2

[nostalgiabomb]

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( VOL. 1 )

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[animated]

[ Peter’s words hit him like a punch in the gut, the guilt in his tone causing the same to rise in the back of Charlie’s throat like bile, sour and sharp. He had convinced himself of a lot of things while they were apart, namely that it was better this way. It was better for Peter not to have to deal with the burden of keeping Charlie alive and safe.

In truth, Charlie had been scared. Scared of what something happening to Peter would do to him. He couldn’t bear that sorrow after Robert’s death, he couldn’t, and so he decided to run away once more.

His grip on Peter’s hand tightens. ]

Gods, Peter. I’m so sorry. I didn’t even know… I— I thought—

No, that’s a lie. I convinced myself that when you didn’t say anything that you wanted to end this. It made the decision hurt less. It made it easier to turn tail and run. I was being selfish and stupid, because I didn’t want to be responsible if something happened.

I’ve spent a lot of time trying to sort myself out, and I’m… okay, mostly. Getting there, anyway, but I do know that I never really wanted to leave you behind.

I’m sorry.

[nostalgiabomb]

[ He adjusts his hand, turning it palm down to wrap around Charlie's hand, easing his grip a little. ]

It's fine. Seriously. [ He tries for a small smile. ] We probably both needed some perspective on this, huh?

[animated]

[ He huffs a small laugh, though there’s not much humor in it. ]

I guess so.

[ His eyes flick to their hands. For the second time in as many minutes, it strikes him just how close they are. Something in his chest flutters, steals his words for the space of a few breaths. After a moment’s hesitation, he drags his gaze back upward. ]

Peter— I owe you so much. I never— I don’t want to leave you again.

[nostalgiabomb]

C'mon. Don't say that.

[ Even if something warm tightens around his lungs – some odd little feeling of hope he hasn't allowed himself to feel in a long time. ]

You're not gonna just ditch that little village of yours, right?

[animated]

Not totally.

[ His thumb slowly brushes over the back of Peter’s hand. ]

I’d like to go back and tie some things up, but I don’t want to stay there forever.

[nostalgiabomb]

[ Peter lets out a breath, grappling with that feeling of hope that tries to burst in his chest. ]

Why don't we just— we'll focus on getting you back there, alright? Then you can make your decisions.

[animated]

So, is this you trying to get rid of me or you telling yourself I won’t want to stick around?

[ Charlie still goes right for the jugular, it seems, but for all that he sounds serious, he doesn’t sound angry. ]

[nostalgiabomb]

[ The bluntness of it startles him, rendering him briefly speechless. But he finds his voice, as he almost always does; it never tends to scatter too far away, even at the worst of times. ]

This is— me trying to be practical, because decisions made in the middle of nowhere while sitting in a giant log probably aren't the soundest.

[animated]

Peter.

[ It comes out in a sigh, part exasperated, part fond. ]

This is a decision I made ages ago. If you really don't want me around, I'll go, but if you want me to stay, I'll stay in a heartbeat.

[nostalgiabomb]

[ He hesitates, because what he wants to say is yes. abso-fucking-lutely. But for as little time as they've spent apart, it's still enough to make them different people – maybe not on a large scale, but in little ways that matter.

For Peter's part, he's fallen back on old habits. He was never a saint when Charlie was around, that much is certain, but he had tempered some of his selfishness, at least a little, had forced himself to be a little more mindful. Not as much, these days. ]

... Consider it a trial run. [ He tries to make his voice light. ] Make sure the two of us can actually stand each other after all this time.

[animated]

[ He gets the feeling that's the best he's going to get right now. Peter's little burst of honesty earlier seems to have put him at his limit. ]

All right. It's going to take us a while to get back to the village anyway.

[nostalgiabomb]

[ Something in him relaxes when Charlie lets up a little, and some of the tension in his shoulders eases out on a quiet breath. ]

Where's this quaint little village of yours?

[animated]

[ He has to think on that a moment, mentally orienting himself again. ]

Um, well. If I figured out where we are correctly, it's north. Way north, a few days walk out of Lastonbell.

It'll probably take us a couple of weeks to get there by foot.

[nostalgiabomb]

[ Peter blinks at that, trying to recall where Lastonbell is. His own assessment seems to match up with Charlie's, at least, and he winces again. ]

Shit. That's a ways away.

[ He sighs quietly, his free hand pinching the bridge of his nose. (His other hand still rests in Charlie's, and either Peter's forgotten, or he's unwilling to let it go.) ]

Don't suppose you've got a shortcut, huh?

[animated]

Not unless you somehow teleport yourself there before me and blow the whistle.

[ He gives a one-shouldered shrug. (His hand is still clasped with Peter's, and in spite of Peter's reluctance to give him any sort of answer, he takes it as a part of one anyway.) ]

But a couple of weeks is a good trial period, don't you think?

[nostalgiabomb]

[ He huffs out a quiet laugh, tipping his head to one side as if in concession. ]

Fair point.

That village of yours. Not gonna collapse without you there, is it?

[animated]

They'll be fine. I left behind a few pre-made things instructions in case they need anything urgent.

[ He had notes prepared well in advance as well, in the event he needed to disappear. ]

Honestly, I spend most of my time alone in the woods. I don't interact with the villagers too much aside from a few things.

[nostalgiabomb]

[ Another breathed out laugh, a little disbelieving, and the corner of his mouth quirks up in a small smile. ]

You know, when I figured you were going in for a quiet lifestyle, I didn't figure you'd become a hermit.

[animated]

Me neither, but that's how it worked out.

[ He flashes a small smile at Peter, brushing his thumb over the back of his hand again ]

But like I said, it got pretty lonely.

[nostalgiabomb]

[ That little brush of contact sparks something in Peter's chest, makes his smile widen a little, and he swallows around a nervous sort of lump in his throat. ]

See? This is why you should've taken up farming. Would've had the animals for company.

[ Because that weird little feeling is too scary to explore, so he falls back on his default smart-ass mode, instead. ]

[animated]

We already established they aren't half as witty as you.

[ This is dangerous, sitting here like this, with Peter smiling at him like that. He might throw Peter's whole idea of a trial period out the window- hells, he might throw this whole thing out the window- if he gives in to the building temptation to kiss him. ]

[nostalgiabomb]

[ He lets out another quiet laugh, shrugging a shoulder. ]

And I'm pretty sure we also established you would've just yammered at them. Constantly. Hard for a guy to get a word in edgewise, when you're around.

[animated]

You seem to be managing just fine. Besides, I don't talk all the time.

[ Though he has been known to ramble now and again. It happens, especially when he's talking about magic. ]

[nostalgiabomb]

[ He arches an eyebrow. Then, flatly, ]

So if I ask you about that illusion you made earlier, the copy of me. You won't end up talking for the rest of the night?

[animated]

[ Whether or not Peter's being serious, it manages to grab his attention, and it's a good distraction besides. ]

I guess that depends on what you want to know.