For a long moment, Peter just. Gapes. Apparently he's doing his best fish impression, because his eyes are wide, and he keeps grasping for words that won't come.
He also feels the unpleasant sensation of falling, plummeting down and down and down, but with a rope just within his reach to save himself. He could just grab for it, but he hasn't -- because when he does, it'll hurt. But it'll hurt even more if he lands, won't it? ]
-- Wait.
[ It's the only thing he can think of to say, and even then it comes out weakly, hesitantly, voice thin and thready. But he can't just-- he can't let Charlie leave on a note like that, right? ]
Just-- I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry. I didn't mean--
[ He rubs at the-- less shitty side of his face. ] All this shit is so fucking complicated.
[ He's still quiet, but he's a weird mix of pissed and frustrated and nervous, because these are uncharted waters for him. He's getting used to the idea of relationships that don't have some sort of catch. Friendships that don't come with the caveat of "as soon as this is over, I'm killing you."
So to try to get used to some sort of romantic relationship, one that he expects to last beyond breakfast the next day? It's like taking a swan dive into a tiny pool from a million feet up. Because the expectation is to get it right the first time -- but the likelihood of crashing onto concrete is way higher. ]
It just... ah, tries my patience sometimes when you dodge my questions like that, like I have to go digging for validation. I should know better than to get annoyed like that.
-- Sorry. [ How many apologies has that been in one sitting? Surely a record for one Peter Jason Quill. ] I know I'm not really-- I don't really do honesty. So I just--I sort of-- [ see? Even now he's floundering. ]
I don't mean to-- I dunno. Invalidate you? Or your feelings? [ He shrugs helplessly. ]
[ There is hand-holding, which Peter is glad for, because for a second there, he honestly thought this whole thing had blown up in his face, and all because he'd made some stupid, stupid joke.
no subject
Happy?
no subject
[ He sighs, eyes cast at the ceiling. ] I didn't want this to become a fight.
no subject
Everything's a fight with us. Dunno how you're not surprised by it at this point.
no subject
I don't want to fight with you. I really don't. [ He hauls himself off the bed, moving to grab his coat and his shoes ]
It'd just be nice to get a little confirmation once in a while that you keep me around for something other than a good fuck.
no subject
For a long moment, Peter just. Gapes. Apparently he's doing his best fish impression, because his eyes are wide, and he keeps grasping for words that won't come.
He also feels the unpleasant sensation of falling, plummeting down and down and down, but with a rope just within his reach to save himself. He could just grab for it, but he hasn't -- because when he does, it'll hurt. But it'll hurt even more if he lands, won't it? ]
-- Wait.
[ It's the only thing he can think of to say, and even then it comes out weakly, hesitantly, voice thin and thready. But he can't just-- he can't let Charlie leave on a note like that, right? ]
Just-- I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry. I didn't mean--
[ He rubs at the-- less shitty side of his face. ] All this shit is so fucking complicated.
no subject
So what do you want me to do, Peter?
no subject
[ He's still quiet, but he's a weird mix of pissed and frustrated and nervous, because these are uncharted waters for him. He's getting used to the idea of relationships that don't have some sort of catch. Friendships that don't come with the caveat of "as soon as this is over, I'm killing you."
So to try to get used to some sort of romantic relationship, one that he expects to last beyond breakfast the next day? It's like taking a swan dive into a tiny pool from a million feet up. Because the expectation is to get it right the first time -- but the likelihood of crashing onto concrete is way higher. ]
I barely even know what the fuck I'm doing.
no subject
I'm being unfair, aren't I?
no subject
[ he sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. ]
I dunno. Probably not? But it sure fucking feels like it, honestly.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
Salt on the wound, dude.
[ he's quiet for a second, then, ]
That's not what you really think, is it? That I let you stick around for a good lay?
no subject
It just... ah, tries my patience sometimes when you dodge my questions like that, like I have to go digging for validation. I should know better than to get annoyed like that.
no subject
I don't mean to-- I dunno. Invalidate you? Or your feelings? [ He shrugs helplessly. ]
no subject
It's okay, really.
Baby steps. I just forget sometimes.
no subject
Just-- You seriously have to lead me by the hand through some of this shit. I don't know what I'm doing.
no subject
I'll do my best.
no subject
He lets out a breath slowly. ]
Jesus, you're scary when you're pissed.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
Yeah. Fair enough, I guess.
no subject
[ he motions to the side of Peter's face ]
no subject
Maybe. How bad's it lookin'?
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)