riverview: ic contact;

[nostalgiabomb]

You've reached the voicemail of Star-Lord. Hit me with your best shot. Or— crap, wait, I should've quoted "Call Me" instead. Aw, dammit. Is it too late to— [ BEEP ] [ text | video | voice | action ] gif credit

USERNAME star.lord RESIDENCE community housing: floor 13, room 4 OCCUPATION perimeter guard: surveyor / salvage & repair specialist

Comments

text.

[madeupnames]

You should probably double-check Miss Mantis' wardrobe before she heads out the door daily.

Just FYI. I don't think she knows what she's buying out there.

text;

[nostalgiabomb]

This is the weirdest text I've ever gotten

what specifically are you talking about

text;

[madeupnames]

Really? The weirdest? Man.

[Try being a gen z kid sometime, you get some weird shit in your messages.]

It's kind of TMI but I don't think she realizes her shirt is a sex joke??? ☹️ And she's really sweet and I don't want any weird guys coming up and saying gross stuff because she's wearing a rhino shirt that says I'M HORNY in big letters.

1/2

[nostalgiabomb]

[ oh no.

that's.

that's hilarious.

Please hold, because Peter is losing his shit while frantically waving Gamora down to show her this text. ]

[nostalgiabomb]

[ Once he's calmed down (or, at the very least, has been subdued into submission by Gamora's death glare), ]

I'll talk to her

Did you already tell her what that meant

[madeupnames]

Nnnnnoooo, should I??????????????????😳

we're watching the parade, it's a weird time to spring weird earth lessons about innuendos!!

this is clearly your job as leader of the defensesquad of the universe or whatever you called urselfs

[nostalgiabomb]

Guardians of the Galaxy

Defense Squad of the Universe is so much longer and has way too few hard G sounds where did you even get that from

[madeupnames]

What do you mean, DSotU rolls riiiight off the tongue.

LOL, Maybe I was thinking of Geek Squad, like the computer guys. 🙈

anyway maybe I'll take her and buy her a better shirt, maybe one with a praying mantis on it, because hello???? Missed opportunities???

[nostalgiabomb]

wow

that's reductive

[madeupnames]

Which part, comparing you to the Geek Squad or giving someone named Mantis a Mantis shirt?





BTW Is she actually part mantis???

[nostalgiabomb]

Not that I know of?

We don't know a whole lot about where she came from

It's uh

Its kind of a weird topic

[madeupnames]

Oh, gotcha. Weird topic.

I mean, it's good if she's not really mantis-y, because if she had actual mantis eyes, that'd be hard to talk to. Also awkward convo about the murdering your spouse thing.

[Which is hashtag relatable.]

she seems like she didn't get out much, so I'll try to help out her social skills and stuff!

[When Peter Parker says that, you know your social skills are rough.]

[nostalgiabomb]

yeah uh

Tread lightly with the spouse murder.

[ It's a sensitive subject for both Peter and Mantis, in a way.

Ego was fucked up like that. ]

Just don't go too nuts

I don't want to have to unteach her weird crap

like crawling in through windows when there's a perfectly serviceable door

[madeupnames]

How are windows much different than doors??? Cmon

[nostalgiabomb]

The fact that you asked that question makes me think you're not responsible enough to help Mantis

[madeupnames]

What!!! I'm responsible!

I haven't lost a backpack in months!

[nostalgiabomb]

... how do you lose an entire backpack

[madeupnames]

I can't exactly carry it all over town when I change into my suit, you know! so I web it somewhere for safe keeping.

the last one accidentally got taken by the garbage men, RIP Jansport #5.

[nostalgiabomb]

so then what do you do about all the lost text books??

[madeupnames]

I pay for them ಥ_ಥ

[... Suddenly him being just as broke as he was at home makes sense.

He spent his last 5 cred on a fuckin strawberry smoothie you feel me dog.]

1/2

[nostalgiabomb]

... dude

[nostalgiabomb]

wait how did you do that face

[ IMPORTANT MATTERS ]

[madeupnames]

Why, I have no idea what face you're talking about. (´・ω・`)

[nostalgiabomb]

is that supposed to be a pig? or just a dude with a weird nose

[madeupnames]

No, it's his little mouth, like a mischievous as heck cat! Like :3 but fancier.

Get with the times, old man. (´・ω・`)